Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Some things to clarify

I don't expect many people beyond spambots to stumble on to this site. But in the event that a real human does venture into my rubbish, this is a bit about me. 

I'm introverted, hate confrontation and will do almost anything to avoid it. This is why religious people, vegans, stupid people, politicians, bogans and many other easy targets will most likely cop a snide remark from me from time to time. I mean no offence, it's just fun, it amuses me and I'm not writing on this blog to make friends. 

Put fairly simply - the internet was designed for introverted, sarcastic and juvenile people like me. At least that's what I think. It's fucking brilliant. 

I swear quite a bit. Not for the sake of it, but I find that sometimes a good swear word like "fucking" will emphasise something better than "really really". 

The name Spittin'chips was the result of trying to think of an email address that I could remember. I realise it is pretty stupid but it has stuck and I can't be bothered finding a new one. 

For those of you who don't understand the term "spitting chips", it basically means you are outraged or mad at something. Fill your mouth full of chips (doesn't matter what kind), subject yourself to something outrageous. Spit chips. Simple.

Spell-check just told me that I spelled 'realise' wrong. No, I bloody well didn't. I speak the Queen's English and the one thing you learn when trying to teach a small child this language, is that it is filled with inconsistencies and stupid rules. To further complicate the language, as the Americans have done, makes no sense to me whatsoever. 

Anyway, I can probably be summarised as a bloke who swears a fair bit, is somewhere in the age bracket associated with Generation X, and lives in Australasia.  

That I could actually be a 22 year old multi-millionaire Norwegian lass is one of the things I like about the internet. I can tell people whatever I like and only me and the NSA know the truth. 

Did I mention I am also paranoid? And I lie a fair bit? Well, I am and I do. 

Oh, and the avatar is Sterling Archer - the funniest cartoon character in history.