Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Rhymes with banker truckwits

Two of the things that I like to entertain myself with are the world of finance (stock markets, mainly) and the field of nutrition.

I therefore find it rather annoying that these two areas of interest are both infested with similar amounts of corruption and wanker f*ckwits

There are differences of course; investment bankers don't give two shits that you and everyone else knows they are greedy psychopaths on a feverish quest to rip off everyone they come in contact with and furnish their empty lives with shiny objects and mega-yachts. They're insanely rich and the Government (doesn't matter which one) lets them get away with it. Why would they care, even if they had a conscience? 

I find it both amusing and sad that a filthy-rich investment bank gets fined $20 Billion for playing "silly buggers" and their response is to sack a bunch of their lower-level employees and give their megalomaniac CEO a massive pay rise. 

Trust me, I'm rich
That this isn't surprising behaviour for an investment bank should make me and everyone else furious. But it doesn't, because after the massive bailouts of 2008, a time that spawned a new reality where more debt and printing money made sense, there are no more surprises.

Stock markets cheer when a shitty economic statistic is released because it usually means the wizards with the money printing press will keep on printing (or buying bonds). Bad news is good news. Good news is good news. More debt is something to be embraced, not feared. We live in a new reality where investment banks trade and speculate with abandon, knowing that if/when their shitty investments go bad, the Government will be there to bail out these "too big to fail" millionaire factories. A precedent was set and there's no going back.

The field of nutrition on the other hand, which is another name for investigating the effects of what you put in your mouth, is a little cagey about who knows what their true intentions are. We all suspect that the massive food/pharmaceutical companies are using their power and influence to keep the wider population fat and sick, but they rarely come out and say it.

The latest study that was funded by StatinsRus Pty Ltd may conclude that the recently developed Zabadabadooticor is so fantastic it should be supplemented in all baby formulas and vitamin water - but until the scientists and the StatinsRus money men post instagram photos of themselves rolling around nude in a big pile of money, we won't really know for certain that they're corrupt rather than just incredibly stupid. And you won't see anyone with influence actually asking these sorts of questions, because well, it's too inconvenient.

Technological advancement allows us access to all sorts of information in 2014. A few keyboard strokes and we have data, analysis and opinion like never before. We should be more aware of corruption and scandal, but it seems even if we are, the protestations are few and quickly silenced. Rich people have the upper hand, and they'll be damned if they're giving up their fleet of Ferraris without a fight.  

Owning this might make me a little crazy with power too

At least this seems to be case in the world of investment markets. In nutrition, I have a little more optimism. The playing field is more level, the games more transparent and the lies are much easier to pick. Assuming you have your eyes open, of course. Sure, the propaganda is stronger than ever, but the nutritional label on a can of fizzy soft drink is much easier to decipher than the latest debt offering from MegaBank Inc. 

At MegaBank, the investments you consume are not just loaded with trans fats - the ingredients also include asbestos and DDT and will have you bleeding money out of your arse before you can say "collateralised debt obligation".

In the world of finance, the apathy is chronic. The wanker f*ckwits are winning and that makes me very sad. I truly believe that a day of reckoning is inevitable, but whether the idiots in charge will have learned anything from history remains to be seen.

In the field of nutrition I feel we are much closer to something resembling a sane discussion. The voices of reason are getting louder and the facts are becoming harder to conceal. Information is power and we are learning to wield it with a force that will enable positive change. 

It's nice to have something to look forward to.