Monday, 10 March 2014

I foresee compulsory internal searches

All in the name of security, of course.

Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 has been missing a couple of days now, with the 239 passengers and crew suspected to have all died in a crash at sea. It is no doubt a tragic occurrence, and one that would be heart-breaking for the families and friends of those who were on board. I can't imagine what they must be thinking and feeling right now, but I'm pretty sure a staunch belief in the need for tougher security at airports would be fairly low on their list of priorities. 

I could be wrong and jumping the gun, but I smell bullshit in the news articles claiming that the plane was perhaps the subject of a terrorism attack. It took only about 24 hours for this suggestion to pop up, all because two of the passengers were travelling with stolen passports. In fact, we now have "aviation and security experts" claiming a bomb was most likely the cause because "a catastrophic blast would be needed to take down a Boeing 777".

Call me naive, I'm pretty sure all it would take is either a drunk pilot or a flock of kamikaze pigeons or one of the several thousand bolts coming loose in the undercarriage. 

I would also think there'd be a number of different reasons why someone would be travelling overseas with a stolen passport. Blowing up a plane with lot of people on board is probably among the least likely.

Look, I try not to get wrapped up in too many conspiracy theories - I'm quite happy with the story of humans landing on the moon, and I really couldn't give a rat's arse who President Kennedy was really shot by, but it doesn't take audacious speculation to think that the invasion of Iraq and the establishment of torture camps in Cuba was based on a load of bollocks. That our Governments ended up with significantly increased powers over their citizens, who in turn ended up being metaphorically internally searched by said Governments, doesn't make me any less skeptical.

Similarly, I fail to see the logic behind spending enormous amounts of money and resources on prohibiting Mr and Mrs Average from taking nail clippers or 105ml of water on to a plane. I honestly don't even know where to start in dreaming up a way to hurt someone with nail clippers. A pen, the arms of eye-glasses, earrings, a necklace, a piece of paper, the smashed screen of your tablet - all of these things I can imagine hurting someone with. Nail The amount of effort it takes just to get them on to your own toe nails should be evidence enough that they are harmless.

This is the illogical world we now live in. Where the threat of some act of terrorism, no matter how unlikely, has us all handing over the contents of our lives to the zombies who are invariably employed as airport security.

I'm probably getting annoyed over nothing, but they haven't even found the plane wreckage yet and already we're being told that the Governments' efforts to protect us all are vindicated. 

Maybe there was a bomb. Maybe the two passport thieves were up to no good. Or maybe the parasitic scumbag journalists are whipping up a hysterical frenzy of nonsense. Given that the most likely location of the plane is at the bottom of the sea, I'm not sure we'll ever find out for sure. But even if there were some nasty men with evil intentions, I don't want it used as some warped justification to trample all over our basic human rights.

I don't want to hear some brain-dead idiot shouting "I'm not getting on the plane with you unless I see the video of your colon. If you don't have anything to hide, you shouldn't be complaining."

Time to think pleasant thoughts. Maybe they'll turn up on an abandoned air strip somewhere. Or at the very least, have died quickly and painlessly.