Tuesday, 18 March 2014

My low fat, super healthy dinner

The lighting in my kitchen is crap and I feel an overwhelming sense of twatiness when photographing my food, but this is an example of what I'd cook maybe once every 1-2 weeks. 

It's not really low fat, I just have a stupid sense of humour. If it were low fat, I wouldn't be wasting my time cooking it.

Ingredients - wine and butter were a bit camera-shy
piece of salmon, skin on
eggs, preferably recently popped from  a happy hen's vagina
fat tallow/dripping or fat of your choice
garlic, chilli - chopped
Japanese mayo (kewpie), chilli sauce.

I don't know if anyone has successfully made sauerkraut in the tropics, but I'm not a fan of pointless exercises in frustration, or risking botulism, so I buy a jar. This one comes from Poland so it must be good. I hear it's no where near the equator.

The sauerkraut takes the longest, so that goes on first. Onions fried in tallow until soft, garlic, chilli added and cooked a further few minutes. Add a dash of dry white wine and the jar of sauerkraut. Cook through. Add caraway seeds near the end if you can be bothered.
I know, Germans reading this are probably shaking their head and rolling their eyes.
Meanwhile, the zucchini is cut in flat strips using a knife or mandolin. Mayo and chilli sauce mixed together. 
chilli + kewpie mayo = sausome

The fish is in now a hot pan of tallow, skin first to make it crispy, eggs are being fried slowly in butter and a grill pan is putting nice black stripes on the zucchini:
Wife says I use too many pans. So I leave one burner free.

And it all comes together to form a plate fit for a greedy pig. Of course if you're a food (s)nob like me, you send it back if the salmon isn't pink in the middle, the eggs don't have runny yolks or you're just in the mood for being a dick.
At this point I realise one egg would have been plenty

I'm not one for dissecting meals into micro-nutrients, but I'm guessing this is what the experts should be talking about when they speak of a 'balanced' meal. Plenty of vitamins and minerals and plenty of delicious fat to transport that goodness to your body's cells.