Ignorance is bliss some of the time, but when you look back over your life and recall instances where you (now) realise you must have looked pretty silly – it can be a little unsettling. The time delay probably makes it worse as I sit, shake my head and think "I must have looked like a bloody tool".
Just a few that I remember:
- The pink/red pants thing actually happened, or perhaps some dickhead was just messing with me. Either way, it was a traumatic day at primary school.
- That fluro green polo shirt I wore to high school wasn't as cool looking as I thought it was. Kids stopping in their tracks and faking blindness was the giveaway.
- Thinking the ‘skin tone’ pimple cream actually blended in with my skin tone and didn't stand out like dog's balls. I used that shit for years.
- Buying a lilac work shirt online, only to be told when it arrived in the mail, that lilac looked a hell of a lot like pink.
- Telling people that I own a purple car and then finding out years later it was green.
My kids are slightly less argumentative and know not to ask me about colours - just because I know the words to the Rainbow song, doesn't mean I know which stripe is purple and which is blue.
As far as genetic afflictions go, it's not really up there with Spina bifida or Bloom syndrome, and a lot more common, but i can attest to it being bloody annoying. I don’t imagine you’d tell someone with cerebral palsy to cheer up because they weren't born with Down ’s syndrome. So telling me I’m whinging about nothing and that I could be totally blind is not really helpful.
|apparently there is a "74" in there somewhere|
If you say the words turquoise, violet or magenta, you might as well be speaking Japanese, because I have no idea what you're talking about. Some shades of colour are obvious, others are not and depends on the lighting or my immediate care factor as to whether I can tell what colour your eyes are.
Genetically, all this annoyance is my Mum's fault - she gave me the dodgy X chromosome, the selfish bitch. Seriously though, that I wasn't destined to be an interior designer isn't a crushing weight on my mind or outlook on life. I see things a little different to the average person, and the older I get, the less I care whether my socks match my sandals*.
|I can see that this tiger is the colour: "awesome with black stripes"|