Thursday, 7 August 2014

Get your grubby hands off my metadata

As we continue the steady slide into full blown totalitarianism, it's not entirely surprising that our Government here in Australia is making the most of the so-called war of terror. The Attorney General, George Brandis, has proposed that they will make telecommunications companies retain records of all websites visited by their customers for two years.

Mandatory data retention laws might sound innocent enough to the unsuspecting and trusting punter, but when the dickheads who come up with these ideas don't even have a clue how it'll work, you know you'd have to be a fully-blown idiot to believe any good will come of it.
Brandis - "you there, peasant - behold my cunning plan to take your secrets and eat your children" 
As far as I can tell, because I'm having trouble following the argument, we should be happy to trade our civil liberties and privacy for the promise of a terrorism-free society and the warm glow that goes with that.

Call me a pessimist and glass half empty kinda bloke, but I think that is an extraordinarily shitty deal. I'd compare it trading all my personal belongings for a lifetime supply of vegan microwave dinners. I'm expected to hand over something immensely important to me in return for something that I have no need or want for, and that quite frankly, stinks of bullshit. 

Fortunately I'm optimistic enough to believe that it'll never happen. As stupid as politicians and bureaucrats are, it'll cost too much, be too difficult to administer and we humans aren't quite as compliant and brainless as they think.

I hope.

And anyway, why don't they just ask Google for all that information? Dumb bastards.
My grandpa would be scheduled for rendition for this
Unlike spy agencies and politicians, my late grandparents had a great sense of humour. On a long road trip many years ago they set up the above scene as a sort of "grandma talks too much so I had to get some peace and quiet" joke. 

Depressingly, it is easy to imagine a world in the not-too-distant future where a similar photo emailed to grand kids might be intercepted by some stooge in the basement of ASIO. Phone calls are made up the chain of big-swinging-dicks until the old man's door is blown off its hinges and he's whisked away to be "accidentally" tortured in a secure location and never seen again.

It seems as we get further in to the 21st century there is much less room for this type of humour. Some voter somewhere might get offended or feel unsafe and we just can't have that.


  1. "As stupid as politicians and bureaucrats are, it'll cost too much, be too difficult to administer and we humans aren't quite as compliant and brainless as they think."

    That didn't stop Obamacare.

    1. I don't have much of a clue about Obamacare and what it involves, but going by all the comments I've read, I get the strong impression it is a complete cluster-fuck.

      Have a good one, Lori.

  2. I have many fond memories of my grandparents and their love for eating good old fashioned 'dripping' which many these days would frown upon. My dear Grandma lived to the age of 99yr.

    I really don't know what she would make of our 'modern times' a mix up in many senss of the word ...but we do our best.

    Have a good weekend

    All the best Jan