Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Milk shakes and genetics, discussed in detail.

Instant messaging programs are quite entertaining. Subject, of course, to having a few colleagues with similar tastes in humour, i.e. sarcastic, politically incorrect and a little bit sick.

My attention span is not great. When I've got a few minutes to kill, it is mentally refreshing to shoot off some random bait, a quick conversation transpires, and I can get back to work with renewed vigor. 

Or something like that. Nonsense conversations seem to wipe the noise from my head. Clears the slate, so to speak.

I had a go at Facebook once, and that shit just steals your life - I got lost in a sea of bullshit, but maybe that was just the quality of my pretend 'friends'. 

This is not like that. Honest.

The context for the following conversation is that I'd just read the latest Calories Proper post, where Bill had listed the protein percentage of rat's milk (49%). 

Yes, that's right, I focus on the important bits.

Me10:13 AM
Stop what you're doing. I have a brilliant idea for making shitloads of money. Ready? 
Muroidea Whey shakes
Brilliant or what?
Colleague 10:13 AM
Me10:13 AM
Can't call it rat whey otherwise the bros won't buy it
they won't know how to look up "muroidea"
muroid sort of rhymes with steroid
You can buy a share in my start up company for $50k
that's mates’ rates
I'm setting up a rat dairy
OK, OK, you can pay me $25k now and the rest in 6 mths
Colleague 10:13 AM
bro you can get 10ml of test/decka/tren for $250 a vile. who the hell would pay $25K for rat milk?
Me10:13 AM
ugh, my brilliance is obviously wasted on you
I'm not selling you rat milk
I’m selling you a share in my dairy
Any ideas on how to milk a rat?
never mind, not sure why I bother
Colleague 10:14 AM
have you researched if it’s any good for the human liver?
Me10:15 AM
fuck n hell. 
I roll my eyes at you
Colleague 10:15 AM
why do you think we don’t drink steroids?
bro if you wanna get big let me know
I’ll hook you up with some estrogen
Me10:15 AM
you are so unedumucated
Colleague 10:15 AM
you'RE so wrong
Me10:16 AM
Rhino milk has 0.2% fat. And yet their babies are fucking massive. Ask your nutrition lecturer to explain that one.
Mouse milk has 27% fat and they're tiny
Colleague 10:16 AM
It’s called genetics loser.
Me10:16 AM
you are so uneducated
genes are a myth
invented by some "scientist"
ha. as if.
Colleague 10:17 AM
genetics is everything. fuck, are you trying you annoy me or are you just dumb? 
Me10:17 AM
i thought that was obvious
apparently not
Colleague 10:17 AM
body building comps - kai greene didnt win mr olympia because his genetic make up isn’t perfect, some said his build was bigger but his muscles formed differently and then phil heath, perfect muscle definition all round, and he’s mr olympia. It’s all genetics. 
Me10:17 AM
shut the FU
about Kai Greene
he's a narcissistic freak
they all are
hint: I was joking about genes being a myth
you take things too literally
Colleague 10:18 AM
you're not getting the point, we aren’t talking about your opinion about them specifically, we are talking genetics
Me10:18 AM
I don't give a rat's boob about your argument
or your point
Colleague 10:18 AM
You totally do
Me10:18 AM
you're right
they are awesome
I so want to be that narcissistic and self-absorbed. I am so jelly.
I really want to be that big that I can't wipe my bum properly
Colleague 10:19 AM
really? god you seem to change your mind alot
Me10:19 AM
you have no idea
my mind is a vortex of randomness
Colleague 10:19 AM
ok I’m over this convo now, i'd say talk soon but no
Me10:19 AM

Six minutes of intellectual massage with a fellow genius and lateral thinker and I was raring to get back in to my role as a zombie office worker. A role that I excel at, in case you were wondering.
Kai Greene is probably a lovely man.