Tuesday, 11 November 2014

You can never have too many friends

It’s one of those sayings that sounds cool and true enough, until you start thinking about the psychotic arseholes from years gone by that you wish you’d never had the misfortune of having to associate with.

It does work out OK, though, when one of your friends happens to import hand-made knives from Japan. 
He let me have these beauties for ‘mates rates’

Made by Honmamon from blue paper (Aogami) steel – it only took me a couple of uses to cut myself on the insanely sharp blade. 

I am just a silly white man, after all, and as such it pays to have friends such as this one. Apart from being a nice bloke, he enlightens me on matters both useful and fascinating and sometimes supposedly top secret. 

For example, he says that chopsticks are an inside joke on white people. My attempts at eating with chopsticks range from incompetent to farcical, so the joke makes a lot of sense and he saved me the wasted time of learning a new skill based on nonsense, which is nice.

He also gave me tips on how to raise genius children – but I seldom know whether he’s being serious about these things or just playing another ‘silly white man’ joke. Either way, I won’t be chaining my daughter to her desk and berating her for failing to solve complex algebra problems at age 10, any day soon. 

Suffice to say, our conversations are almost entirely politically incorrect and could very easily be taken out of context. The context being that I play the stereotypical idiot Caucasian man and he plays the stereotypical genius Asian man.  

I'm sure this could easily be construed as racist behaviour by the ever-growing tribe of perpetually offended - but it keeps us amused, so I don't care. With a never-ending supply of stupid white people to steal material from, it is an easy and cheap source of entertainment. A bit like reality TV, but I don't need the TV and don't feel like poking my eyes out during the show. 

Anyway, the knives are brilliant – I can’t drink alcohol while cooking any more, but that's a minor inconvenience. 

How sharp are they? I don't have a silk scarf so I can't try the Kevin Costner bodyguard trick. I'm not quite silly enough to put the blade to my face and attempt to shave with it. They're sharp and they cut food very well. That is all.


  1. Japans are famous iron crafters. I use their tea kettles to brew tea. At some point I was even thinking about buying an imported Iwachu cast iron skillet from Japan http://www.amazon.com/Iwachu-410-556-Iron-Omelette-Large/dp/B00CL8Q9PE/ref=pd_sim_sbs_k_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=18KHCAP5ECQ29WS7H6QE, but decided not to splurge after all, even though what lasts a life time could be bought at a higher price than a non-lasting item. I live in US now, and they have here the best in the world heritage cast iron which is more affordable than skillets from Japan.http://www.richsoil.com/cast-iron.jsp.
    BTW, one of greatest marketing successes of out time is convincing people to use non-stick skillets which last no longer than several months in that quality than have to be replaced. One of major selling points - you can cook on it without using fat. How nicely scams are fitting one another! Another wonderful marketing finding is selling people tea bags with a low quality tea for way more money than a quality tea. Examples of stupid white man behaviors which are good for the economy are endless for better or for worse.
    What does your Asian friend use for a cookware?

    1. Hello Galina - I'm with you on the 'fat free cooking' scam. Particularly with grills - all that beautiful animal fat running away. So sad.

      The answer to your question about what he uses for cookware is "earthen pot-fired, with cow poo, of course".

      Getting a sensible answer out of him, is unfortunately not that easy. :)

      Have a good one.

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