Friday, 15 May 2015

Rhetorical questions and Healthy Kids

In everyday life there are many questions that appear rhetorical, because the answer should be so obvious to not require a response. But it seems some people ask them expecting a response. 

A response that is different from “sorry, I don’t know you well enough to answer that truthfully”. Unfortunately you never can tell for sure if someone will respond to a serve of truth with extreme violence.

Some examples of what I consider a rhetorical question include:

What is the best cure for a hangover?
Who will you vote for next election?
Did you watch (insert reality show here) last night?
What is your go-to selfie pose?
Where do you buy your dog’s Halloween costumes?
How long do you think it’ll take for Governments to win the wars on drugs and terror?
Facebook or Twitter?*
Jazz or country music?
Can you recommend a good stockbroker?
Have you read today’s newspaper?
What do you think of my new tattoo?
Would you like to come to my Tupperware party?
Have you heard the word of god?
Would you like to try some of this delicious vegan bacon?

Wikipedia saysAlthough sometimes amusing and even humorous, rhetorical questions are rarely meant for pure, comedic effect.”

Recently I stumbled on to the following web page and just assumed it was one of those rare occasions:

But apparently not, because they went on to answer the question with “there’s no one-size fits all answer” and that’s just not funny at all.

Humour aside, I s’pose the answer is true if you hate your kids and wish them ill health, but I don’t think there are too many sane people with those intentions. Maybe I need to get out more. 
Butter is hard to spread thinly. No contest.
“If you’re a canteen, you should be sticking to the Fresh Tastes @ School Guidelines, which recommend a thin spread of polyunsaturated or monounsaturated margarine over butter.

I’m not a canteen (school tuck shop), but I’m well aware of my own kids’ bipolar canteen list that is full of inconsistencies and nonsense. Anyway, I love a good set of guidelines, so I took a squiz.

Of course it’s exactly the same gibberish you will see in any other nutritional guidelines, but something that did surprise me a little, because I've obviously not been paying attention:

To put that in to perspective, my first-born is ten years old so she should be eating 6-9 serves of cereals each and every day. Given that a ‘serve’ equals:

She will meet the guidelines for good health if she eats: 
  • 12-18 slices of bread; or
  • 6-9 bread rolls; or
  • 6-9 cups of rice, pasta or noodles; or
  • 6-9 bowls of cornflakes.

I almost missed the “extra foods” allowance, of which she’s allowed 1-2 serves a day. Extra foods are: 

So, on top of the 9 salad sandwiches, she can have 8 sweet biscuits or 2 cans of soft drink. Awesome. I bet she can’t wait until she turns 12 when her daily Fanta allowance increases to 3.

Unfortunately, I am quite fond of my beautiful daughter and her ratbag siblings. The Healthy Kids mob might think a kid’s pancreas and brain are there to be tortured, but I don’t.  

Have a lovely day.

*Don’t be offended by the fbook/twitter question. I willingly admit that, perhaps like wheelchairs, social media is very useful for many people – just not me. My non-participation in these forums is probably a reflection of my social-retardation and online paranoia more than anything else.


  1. Hi Chips,

    Butter not being spreadable is never a problem. My idea of a perfect cheese sandwich is two slices of cheese with a nice thick slice of butter inbetween. Perhaps with a little slice of something pickled sitting on top.


  2. Eat up! Sounds like an all day affair to me. That is an exhausting amount of food and it of course is not good for anyone. I am mystified that they increase all those calories as they person grows. You actually use more calories while growing rapidly and should eat less as you age...but then they couldn't sell so much food then could they?

  3. The mind boggles.
    But I'm with Passthecream -- no need for butter to be soft. Do as the Scandinavians used to do: if the butter on the bread isn't thick enough for you to leave teeth marks in it, you didn't use enough! ;-)

    As for it not being soft enough to spread, there's a simple solution: don't store butter in the fridge. It's not necessary. Keep it at room temp.

  4. I'm with 'Passthecream' too you just can't beat ...

    " My idea of a perfect cheese sandwich is two slices of cheese with a nice thick slice of butter inbetween"

    Now you're talking

    All the best Jan

  5. Damn, I hate it when blogger eats comments.

    Interesting sandwich idea, Passthecream. Our shops are selling some nice French butter at them moment, so will give it a whirl one day soon.

    Unfortunately I can't leave butter out of the fridge where I live, but thinking ahead means it softens within 5-10 minutes. Easy.

    Larcana, yeah it struck me as a lot of food, too. I guess if you're only allowed one serve of 'lean meat' (half a serve for my 6 yr old), it shouldn't be surprising. Strange world these experts live in.

    Cheers, everyone.

  6. I think that the people who give a food advice often under-appreciate negative side of eating big volumes of food, especially for children who have smaller stomachs and are supposed to run around. The only realistic way to fed so much grains to a child is to sit him/her in front of TV with a big bucket of frosted flakes/crackers/pretzels. I already see small children walking with their parents holding zip-locks with golden fish crackers or some cereal.

  7. The first thing I noticed about those guidelines is that the person tasked with making the PDF doesn't know how to reformat images. You can't put a jpeg into a PDF without getting that blurry look. Unless it is deliberate and they are pushing corrective lenses like they push diabetes drugs. You need to convert the jpeg image to a tiff or some other file type before inserting it into the PDF. Amateurs.

    1. G'day George, I'm sure there's a line here somewhere about also putting a bunch of contradictions inside an enigma and getting a similarly blurry look.