Friday, 1 May 2015

The Grains Council thinks you're stupid and is worried your'e not farting enough

I try to make it a habit to forget about useless bullshit so that my brain can make room for useful stuff. It's a habit that has developed into quite a talent and why I'd forgotten that Australia has a Grains and Legumes Nutrition Council (GLNC). 

The brilliant journos we have here reminded me that they exist because it turns out that the GLNC is worried and that is worth writing articles about. They're worried because Ostrayans are not meeting their daily target of substances that the GLNC have an enormous vested interest in promoting. 

Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised me that the GLNC have their own nutrionists, but it did a little bit. This is what one of them looks like:
Mmm, beans in a tin. Let me at 'em.
Besides being worried, they've also been busy interviewing a bunch of locals to determine what they think about farting. The 2014 Australian Grains & Legumes Consumption & Attitudinal Study is breathtaking in its thoroughness. 

"Consumption data from 3,031 Australians aged 2-70 years was collected from a two day food diary and an online survey." 

Ignoring for a minute that this represents roughly 0.013% of the population, that their "study" looks more like a propaganda pamphlet is totally appropriate, because something that struck me fairly quickly was that the people they surveyed maybe weren't so bright.
Aussies are clearly too stupid to appreciate the science of whole grains
Apart from inferring that we are all pretty thick, the GLNC also appear to be suggesting that we are a bunch of child abusers.

"The study found that almost half (48%) of parents limit their child’s intake of grains, putting them at risk of missing out on essential nutrients."

Of course it is not just the very fine GLNC nutritionists that are worried - mainstream nutritionists, that have no history of bias whatsoever, are also alarmed. 

"More than two thirds (70%) of adults are not meeting the Australian Dietary Guidelines recommendation of consuming mostly whole grain and 55% are not meeting the whole grain Daily Target Intake of 48 grams."

Shit, even the Yoda of Australian nutritional Jedi knights, Rosemary Stanton, is shitting herself at the thought:  

"She laments Australians are "throwing out the baby and keeping the bathwater” because they are shunning whole grains but eating “the white stuff” like cake and biscuits, as well as Cheezels and Coco Pops."
This would be Rosemary if she wasn't absolutely awful to look at
So there you have it. We're dumb, we're depriving our kids of vital nutrients and we really should be farting a lot more.

How depressing.  

Despite what you think of Anthony Colpo, his book "Wholegrains, Empty Promises" is quite good and is all the reference I need to back up my argument that the GLNC are a bunch of shameless parasitic fuckwits.

Have a good one.


  1. Not to mention all the BPA in the lining of those cans that we're missing out on by not eating beans and legumes.

  2. Hi Chips, I don't know where to get started on this topic, I feel a rant coming on!

    Beans make you FfphtT and cause gastric distress because they are terribly poisonous. I love referring people to the Wikipedia article on phytohaemagglutinins, a very nasty class of toxins which many legumes contain.

    Absolutely deadly. The worst examples of that class of poisons are of course those contained in the castor oil bean and the jequirity bean. Ricin or Abrin anyone? Uggh. Other lectins derived from legumes are used to classify blood types since they all have a great affinity for haemoglobin. Various lectins cling to different blood proteins but you wouldn't want to eat the stuff.

    Whole grain wheat and other cereals, most grass seeds, are other foods containing lectins and agglutenins. Here's another type of nasty found in wheat:

    ATI = Alph-amylase Trypsin Inhibitor. The nutrition in wheat comprises starch ( alhpa-amylase) and proteins ( gluten gliadin etc) The enzyme inhibitor(s) ATI is not destroyed by heat and it inhibit(s) the digestion of starch and protein == biological warfare. Wheat has not evolved to be eaten! It's similar to the trypsin inhibitor in Soy beans. Another legume with a track record!

    The more pest-resistant a food is the more likely it is to contain things that even an insect disdains. If you look around a garden for the 'food' plants which are not being attacked by various wildlife, these are the things you should not eat. Broad bean plants always have amazingly unblemished leaves --- not only do the beans contain plenty of lectins but the leaves themselves contain harmalin and other toxic alkaloids. Very trippy.

    It's beyond comedy and far into tragedy how they classify this stuff as nutritious.

    Love your piccies..

  3. Wow, almost half of Australians limit their children grain consumption! What a bunch of smart people!
    Did you noticed, SP, that life likes to joke? I suspect the commercial with multiple cans of beans may backfire - if somebody indeed decides to give a try to a diet heavy in beans, the experiment most probably would teach a tough lesson. Very often the way to appreciate value of animal products goes through a red meat limitation or even a vegetarianism, and the amplified grains consumption may bring more understanding how it affects a human body. After my husband honestly tried to eat the recommended in the "health education"program at his work amount of fruits and vegetables (5 - 7 portions a day) for a year and developed horrible colic problem, he understood the role of fiber in a digestion much better. He is very far from being a stupid man, he is an outstanding chemist, but being a specialist makes him prone to initially trust (to a degree) to other specialists. No one could convince him to give statines a try, fortunately.

  4. Backfire is a good choice of verb there Galina. Notice the brand name too : Fiamma - doesn't that mean Flames?


    I try to avoid food in cans as much as possible. Surely the energy costs of mining the the metal and forming it and transporting it and then processing it through the waste stream far exceeds the cost and value of the items inside the can?


  5. It kills me that "experts" are worried we don't meet our daily requirement for ... something the human body has no daily requirement for.

    Who the heck is "certifying" these people? I can comfort myself with knowing things are as backward in Australia as they are in the U.S.

    And you know they never, *ever* mention being "at risk of missing out on essential nutrients" when talking about vegetarianism. (Which, by the way, I refuse to call "plant-based," and make a point to call "plant-*only.*" At least, with regard to veganism. Lacto-ovo vegetarians can be quite healthy if they're careful, but there is a gulf of difference between plant-based and plant-only.)

  6. G'day Indy, PTC, Galina, Tess and Amy - thanks for stopping by. Grains and legumes certainly stir up some feelings on both sides and there appears to be a nutritionist-for-hire to suit every argument. I s'pose the 'essential' nature of fibre makes perfect sense if you've never tried going without and/or your regular diet is made up of foods that easily clog the pipes.

  7. Hi,

    I like to play with food and based on what I understood from that paper about ati's in wheat I decided to see if I could make the stuff edible. Plain flour is very cheap so it was worth a try. To recap, ati's are a class of enzyme inhibitors found in the gliadin fraction of wheat. Many people report problems with wheat and ascribe them to gluten - but perhaps it is mostly the ati's which cause the problems?

    OK - first make some seitan: knead some water+flour dough until it gets rubbery, let stand a while then knead it again in a a few changes of slightly salty water until all the soluble matter washes out. You know will have a lump of almost pure gluten with very little ati since that is salt-water soluble. If you cut that into small pieces and deep fry them you will get vegetarian crackling, quite tasty. However if you take it while it is still wet and soft and mix it with almond meal, you will get an elastic dough useful for pizzas etc.

    Going from the sublime to the ridiculous, you can just put some starch back in. Potato starch is made by washing the toxins out of grated potatoes and keeping any starch which settles out but throwing everything else away. I am not a fan of raw potato starch (uggh!) but 20 or 30g of cooked starch in your diet is not going to do any harm.

    So by washing away the toxins in the wheat and then washing away the toxins in the potatoes you are entering the world of hunter-gatherer safe food preparation!