Friday, 1 May 2015

The Grains Council thinks you're stupid and is worried your'e not farting enough

I try to make it a habit to forget about useless bullshit so that my brain can make room for useful stuff. It's a habit that has developed into quite a talent and why I'd forgotten that Australia has a Grains and Legumes Nutrition Council (GLNC). 

The brilliant journos we have here reminded me that they exist because it turns out that the GLNC is worried and that is worth writing articles about. They're worried because Ostrayans are not meeting their daily target of substances that the GLNC have an enormous vested interest in promoting. 

Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised me that the GLNC have their own nutrionists, but it did a little bit. This is what one of them looks like:
Mmm, beans in a tin. Let me at 'em.
Besides being worried, they've also been busy interviewing a bunch of locals to determine what they think about farting. The 2014 Australian Grains & Legumes Consumption & Attitudinal Study is breathtaking in its thoroughness. 

"Consumption data from 3,031 Australians aged 2-70 years was collected from a two day food diary and an online survey." 

Ignoring for a minute that this represents roughly 0.013% of the population, that their "study" looks more like a propaganda pamphlet is totally appropriate, because something that struck me fairly quickly was that the people they surveyed maybe weren't so bright.
Aussies are clearly too stupid to appreciate the science of whole grains
Apart from inferring that we are all pretty thick, the GLNC also appear to be suggesting that we are a bunch of child abusers.

"The study found that almost half (48%) of parents limit their child’s intake of grains, putting them at risk of missing out on essential nutrients."

Of course it is not just the very fine GLNC nutritionists that are worried - mainstream nutritionists, that have no history of bias whatsoever, are also alarmed. 

"More than two thirds (70%) of adults are not meeting the Australian Dietary Guidelines recommendation of consuming mostly whole grain and 55% are not meeting the whole grain Daily Target Intake of 48 grams."

Shit, even the Yoda of Australian nutritional Jedi knights, Rosemary Stanton, is shitting herself at the thought:  

"She laments Australians are "throwing out the baby and keeping the bathwater” because they are shunning whole grains but eating “the white stuff” like cake and biscuits, as well as Cheezels and Coco Pops."
This would be Rosemary if she wasn't absolutely awful to look at
So there you have it. We're dumb, we're depriving our kids of vital nutrients and we really should be farting a lot more.

How depressing.  

Despite what you think of Anthony Colpo, his book "Wholegrains, Empty Promises" is quite good and is all the reference I need to back up my argument that the GLNC are a bunch of shameless parasitic fuckwits.

Have a good one.