Friday, 17 July 2015

Secretive smart arses and coming out. A little bit.

It has occurred to me quite a few times over the life of this insignificant blog that I take a lot of pot shots at certain groups that promote a low fat, low red meat, high cereal/grains diet and I don’t think I’ve ever specifically explained what it is that I do myself. My posts of meals are few and far between, but are a small insight into what I put in my stomach.
I love cows
I absolutely understand that this information will be of zero interest to almost all people who stumble in here, but there are at least a couple of websites that I’ve visited in the past that have ultimately annoyed the crap out of me for this very reason. The information they post might have been useful, had I not been distracted by the nagging thoughts of ‘why are you so secretive of what you put in your own mouth?’

Vagueness irritates me.I know I'm a smart arse, but I had not intended to be secretive or vague smart arse - I just didn’t think the information was that interesting. Of course it isn’t, but to get it out of the way in an attempt at transparency, dot points are go:

  • I have never been morbidly obese, pre-diabetic or member of a fruitarian commune.
  • I tolerate gluten and lactose without immediate or obvious adverse effects.
  • My mother’s side are naturally thin, my father’s side are medium build. Dementia has shown itself on both sides and there is a tenuous, almost non-existent history of heart issues.
  • I'm somewhere between 35-45 years of age. 
  • I studiously counted grams of saturated fat on food labels for a lot of my adult life.
  • My peak heftiness was at age 21 - about 96 kg (212 pounds).
  • My average adult weight on a low fat diet was between 84-88 kg (184-194 lbs).
  • My weight has been stable at 78-80kg for the last 3.5 years on a high fat diet (171-176lbs).
  • I could lie and say I am 6 foot tall, but I’m actually a bees’ dick under at 182cm.
  • That makes my BMI 23-24. Whatever that means, BMI is stupid.
  • I have an ApoE profile of E4/E4, of which I’m weirdly proud and probably talk about too much.
  • I could lie and say I'm ugly, but of course I am incredibly handsome.
  • No, I'm not posting any photos, you'll just have to trust me on that.
Habits after discovering my talent for being a knowitall smart arse
  • Depending on the time allowing and my mood, breakfast is one of two extremes – 2 coffees with a dash of cream/milk OR 3-4 home-grown eggs with some fatty meat (sausages or bacon or both). Blood sausage if I have it. Onions if I can bothered.
  • Lunch could be leftovers or a hamburger with no bread, sardines and cheese, roast chicken, smoked salmon with cream cheese etc.
  • I eat about 20-40g of 85% chocolate a day, usually with a handful or two of macadamias and/or almonds.
  • Dinner could be lots of things but it usually involves some fatty protein in the form of a curry, stew or grilled animal flesh with some non-starchy veggies. We always have prawns in the freezer for easy access and also eat fish, usually salmon, once a week.
  • On average I have 3-4 alcohol-free days a week. On the other days I’ll drink one or two beers, and/or red wine and/or gin/vodka/whisky.
  • I probably eat too much bacon and salami but I'm not totally sold on the 'processed meat' thing. 
  • I take cod liver oil and Vitamin K2 (MK-4) almost every morning. K2 is Alzheimer’s/CVD insurance, cod liver oil is just because. I don’t get sick as much as I used to so it’s sort of based on that. Lately I've added some Vit C, Magnesium, CoQ10. The magnesium better be worth it 'cause the pills are fucking huge and make me gag.
  • I have a few drops of Iodine/Potassium (lugol's solution) if I haven’t had any shellfish recently.
  • I don’t count calories or macro-nutrients but if I had to guess, I’d say my daily intake comprises roughly 50-70% fat, 20-30% protein, 5-20% carbohydrates. I could be way off, but that's what it seems.
  • My only form of exercise is lifting heavyish weights 4-5 times a week and running around with my kids.
I’m not a zealot. If I feel like eating sugar or bread, I will, it just doesn’t happen that often. I might eat some basmati rice or flat bread with a curry or stew. I might eat some pizza or pasta once every few months but I will make and cook it myself so that it's not shit. 

One of my weaknesses is a half-decent meat pie. I know full well the pastry is full of margarine but the so-called 'national dish' of Australia has proven hard to kick.

My personal philosophy and best guess on my body’s ideal nourishment
  • Notice I said “my body’s” - I understand there are lots of people who love to eat, and get by quite well, on eating "mostly plants". Damn, I hate that quote. I’m not one of those people and I never could be. Don't try and change me, bro.
  • Life is short and I don’t plan on living forever or punishing myself on purpose or to achieve some arbitrary number on a blood test that may or may not mean anything to a person who's not guzzling wholegrains soaked in sugar.
  • I don’t kid myself that I know for sure, but I’m guessing my body considers the ideal nourishment to involve a fair amount of animal products and the natural fat that goes with that. 
  • I quite like the taste of milk, but I’m on the fence as to whether it’s worthwhile. I don’t have access to milk straight from a cow’s boobs, so I don’t drink a lot.
  • Regarding Apo E4 -  I can’t get my head around a primitive gene requiring lots of veggies, salmon and olive oil. I concede I may be trusting my gut too much on that, but until I have convincing evidence to the contrary, I’m happy enough to live with what is considered very high cholesterol. 
  • I have no problem with other people eating fruit – it just doesn’t float my boat. I like eating veggies but I am not a big fan of shoving loads of leaves in my mouth – it feels unnatural. Similarly I don't see the point in eating a block of butter in one sitting or drinking a cup of lard. Unless, of course, you're hungry but too drunk to cook:

  • My routine allows me to eat foods I enjoy, until I am full, without the worry of counting calories or feeling hungry or guilty.
  • I know without a shadow of doubt that there is no way I could maintain my body fat percentage (hovers around 10-12%) on any other nourishment. I am a vain creature and not looking like a skinny-fat person means quite a bit, particularly as I age.
  • With a fairly robust immune system, stable blood sugars, sufficient energy and clear-headedness, it seems my body likes what I’m doing. That or it's doing a very good job at pulling my leg. I'm sure we'll all have great laughs when it turns around and gives me a terminal disease.
What I think you should do

  • Whatever you damn-well like.
  • As long as you don't make money from selling obvious bullshit to the detriment of others, then we're sweet.
I do "eat to the rainbow" every now and then on taco night.

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